Ahhhhhhhhhhhh…. summertime and the livin’ is easy! and retirement makes it even better! My family spent last week in Las Vegas for our son’s destination wedding at Caesar’s Palace. Fun!
A coaching friend in Wisconsin keeps me on his email list when he sends out his quarterly team newsletter. It’s a great idea that all of you should consider doing. This one was unique, in that, he had his wife write it!!! Out of his appreciation for her and her being a great “coaches wife!”, Clay asked her to write the letter that goes out to players, parents and boosters this time.
It got me to thinking about wives and marriage and the season quickly approaching and what it does to coaches’ families at this time of year. I found some material that I think is good advice for any husband (or wife!) but especially for coaches.
The secret to closeness in marriage is not sparkling conversation or shared interests or incredible sex. As good as those are, the secret is practicing plain, old-fashioned thoughtfulness and kindness! It’s the stuff we learn when we’re young and forget when we get too busy (like football season!)— things like respect, sensitivity, attentiveness and caring. If your marriage needs a tune-up, start doing these four things:
1- Practice “hug therapy.” When you’re at odds with each other, remember this: a hug works wonders. When we touch one another in caring ways our bodies actuallly produce chemicals which calm us emotionally and help us to bond physically. God designed us that way. Pretty cool, huh?!
2- Don’t forget the small stuff. When you routinely build little kindnesses into your marriage they become a source of strength later; it’s like money in the bank. You can draw on it when you need it. So think “personal” or “sweet” (wives LOVE that stuff!), like helping to clean up after a meal, making the bed in the morning, walking the dog or taking out the trash.
3- Mind your manners. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean common courtesy should go by the wayside. The Bible says: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted.” (Eph. 4:32) That means listening without interrupting and practicing the basics like saying “please,” “thank you” and “I’m sorry.” This stuff is not rocket science, but it works!
4- Compliment each other. Your wife is not a mind reader (though, if she’s like mine, she sure seems to be able to do so at times!) Whenever you think something nice about them…. tell them!!! We live in a cold, competitive world. Hearing that she’s loved, smart, attractive and fun from her husband means everything to a wife.
Bottom line: don’t close your wife off when football season starts. She can be your greatest ally and your biggest supporter. For me— after 37 seasons together, my wife is my source of wisdom. Without her support (and the strength that God’s Holy Spirit provides me), I would never be able to withstand the pressures which come to bear during the fall. Take good care of her guys!
